20 November 1997
I am Alexa, Mistress of
and owner of slave dina.
I am a professional and commercial Dominatrix, as well as what some
would call a D&s "life-styler". Privately I am both slaver and slave
trainer. By choice and passion I am involved with BDSM-related activities
in one form or fashion on a daily basis.
I began my personal journey into BDSM when I was 17 years old and
entered the life as a submissive/slave. I was initially trained in the
"Old Guard" style of BDSM and worked with a male Dominant for one year
before entering formal training at a private house for a further two
years. In my time there I was exposed to various styles of BDSM life and
there I learned the skills to train others. I have been a commercial
Mistress for 5 years now and a "Dominant" personally for seven.
For me there is no more satisfying experience in the world than
witnessing the "opening" of a submissive to their deepest desires; to
see someone reach their fullest potential and to help them satiate their
greatest need. I find an almost spiritual enjoyment in my Dominance. I
find it sensually and intellectually arousing, and personally gratifying
to the point where I have chosen to make it a major part of my overall
For me, Dominance is a passion, an erotic journey and a responsibility.
It is who I am more-so than something I just do. Whether it is training,
working or hosting play-parties, my primary goals as a Dominant today
are to inform and to educate.
I believe strongly, not only because of my upbringing in BDSM but from
my personal experiences with the end results of other people's
inexperience, that the most skilled Dominants have at one time been on
the receiving end of that which they ask their submissives/slaves to do.
This goes well with my personal philosophy: That to know a thing, to
really understand it, one must become that thing.
I have found that personal interests in psychology and sociology have
been useful tools in comprehending the intrinsic nature of my lifestyle.
They have enriched a deeper, more complex understanding of the emotional
aspects of service and have enhanced through that my physical enjoyment
of the BDSM experience.
It is my responsibility as a Dominant in my private and professional
lives to see that the holistic needs of my slaves are met. Holistic
meaning physical, spiritual and emotional. In reality dina and I have a
system of checks and balances, my needs are met by a happy and contented
slave and hers are met by consistency and security.
Having a 24/7 slave is an enormous undertaking from a personal
perspective. I am responsible for her education, her physical needs:
housing, food, clothing and medical; and for her maintenance of family
ties as well as her sexual and emotional needs. For us it is a balance
of play and performance, punishment and pleasure. It is balancing my own
needs and dina's needs. A careful balance of not compromise but
consideration and understanding, of fantasy and fact.
It is, knowing her intimately enough to hear what was said and knowing
what was meant, to be able to read her body's signals and feel her
emotional ups and downs. To be 100% committed to maintaining the
relationship, and to be committed to its continual growth and
exploration. At any time I am Mistress, mother, sister, confidant and
lover. To watch her grow as an individual and become more beautiful
every day is personally gratifying and an honour.
Having a 24/7 slave and, therefore, being required to 24/7 as a
Dominant myself, meets my own needs in several areas. My needs being
practically for an assistant, and personally, through dina and others,
my desire to train, my personal emotional and sexual needs, and my love
for the craft of BDSM are all satiated to unimaginable degrees. With my
work as a bonus, my financial needs are also met.
The most important skill I have learnt as a Dominant is how to see
The hardest skill I have had to learn has been honest non-judgmentalism.
My most common advice I give to new or other Dominants, to professionals
and players alike, is: Practice! Practice! Practice! Learn all you can
about yourself first and know your own limitations. Read! - anything and
everything you can get your hands on and then learn to form your own
style. Don't be bound by the "limitations" of a standard. Never stop
asking questions and never be too embarrassed to ask... And try anything
once, just in case you like it:)